Derrida however, says that we maintain some of this narcissism in our relationships. All love is narcissistic- that we project our own desires and needs onto the person that we love. I think that this also ties into what Derrida was saying in the film about truly loving someone or just loving something about someone. We look for people to love that fulfill our needs. Whether it be someone to make us laugh, someone that makes us feel beautiful, someone that can cook if we can't, someone who is supportive of our career and decision and a whole host of other things that we need from a partner. We look for self fulfillment in a partner.
I don't think that when Derrida discuses the narcissism of love he necessarily means it in a negative way. However, it is a very interesting notion to look at love in such a way Do we love only to be loved in return? Is love a selfish act?
2 comments:
boston beans -
your post raises some interesting points regarding derrida and his ideas on love. It is true that in any relationship we encounter, all we care about is for that other person to be happy. That their needs are met. however, aren't we just pleasing their needs to ensure that this person stays in our lives? I never really looked at it that way. nice job!
I really enjoyed your post, especially the portion of your blog where you talked about the narcissism of love and how we all seek partners who are able to fulfill our needs. After further thinking about the relationship between narcissism and love, I agree that in many ways our partners serve as a way of completing ourselves, offering us that missing piece. This perspective on relationships also relates to what Derrida was saying in regards to love and that it isn't the person we fall out of love with, it is the qualities about that person. In this sense Derrida is saying that we fall out of love with people because the qualities about that person are ones that aren't fulfilling our own personal needs. I appreciate your thoughts as I had never looked at love or relationships in this way. Thanks for the new perspective Ms. Bean!
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